The State of our Union is… Flabby

The State of the Union is today, at 9pm. What will determine whether or not I watch it is if I go to the gym in time to turn it on as I waddle on the treadmill. Considering it’s 8:51 PM and I’m eating pierogies, it doesn’t look likely. I’ll probably catch the middle or ending of it.

The State of the Union is masturbation for people interested in politics. It feels good, it’s exciting, but in the end, nothing comes of it. Every pollster and pundit worth his or her weight in gold will be predicting and analyzing and prognosticating and dissecting and debating until the wee hours of the morning. And for what? A speech that will not likely be remembered by next month. I dare you to come up with three things that were proposed or said at the 2011 State of the Union.

Here’s what happens in every state of the union.

President walks in to applause. He shakes hands. Says some platitude like, “The State of our Union is strong.” Reviews the last year. Calls out Republicans. Calls out Democrats. Highlights the random guests sitting with the first lady. Proposes a bunch of random programs in the last half hour. Leaves.

Bam, I just saved you two hours. You can thank me later.

Although mandated by the constitution, the state of the union – wait I’m sorry – State of the Union was normally delivered by letter to the Congress. It was only until the advent of radio and Woodrow Wilson, and government expanding ways, that the State of the Union was delivered live to Congress.

To be frank, the whole affair reeks of monarchy. It empowers the President and visually reduces what is and should be an equal branch, Congress, into a bunch of braying clowns. The past eighty or so years have witnessed an accumulation of the powers of the President. Something I believe is antithetical to the spirit of the constitution. The State of the Union only enables this development.

It’s tempting to think of the SOTU as innocent political theater. It is not. It’s political theater that leaves a bitter aftertaste in one’s mouth and the rightful institutional hierarchy of government.